CBT Short - For Whom The Battle Foils

Opening
''[The short begins in Timbo's Recovery and Steakhouse. Of the people in line, we focus specifically on a Cucumber and his Sheep Maid.]''

Sheri: Master Cucumber, why exactly are we here?

Cucumber: Why, we're here to recover my good friend Alexis!

Sheri: ...Who?

Cucumber: She's my close friend! We used to talk all the time!

Sheri: Do you mean the store owner? The one who died in a fire?

Cucumber: Yeah!

Sheri: Why do you wish to recover her?

Cucumber: Because it's been too long!

Connor Tape: Excuse me, but I have a patient who needs a heart. Please hurry up and recover the chick.

Sheri: Right away! Sorry, sir!

''[Sheri pushes Cucumber to the Hand-Powered Recovery Center. He proceeds to type Alexis.]''

Alexis: I..uh--I'm alive again!?

Cucumber: Alexis! It's been way too long!

Alexis: Oh, hey, Cucumber. Thanks for recovering me.

Cucumber: No problemo! Say, this is also a combination Recovery Area and Steakhouse...Are you feeling hungry?

Alexis: Uh...I guess?

Sheri: I'll just...I'll just stay in the Car.

Steak Dinner
''[Cuts to a while later. Alexis and Cucumber are eating their meals, when the TV catches Alexis' eyes.]''

Clinko (TV): "I’m glad you get it! Anyways, your challenge today is to cause catastrophe for these business owners. Whichever team does the poorest in doing so, will be up for elimination. The Reapers will be handling Alexis..."

Alexis: ...

Cucumber: Hmm? What's wrong?

Alexis: What show is this. I need to know.

Cucumber: Corporate Businessman's Telethon! The hottest new reality show in Pendleberry!

Alexis: ...

Cucumber: What's the matter?

Alexis: ...My store was blown up for a reality show.

Cucumber: Oh, that was real? Huh. I thought it was just fiction!

Alexis: Cucumber. I was killed. For a reality show.

Cucumber: Huh. Well, everyone--

Alexis: My store was destroyed for a reality show. My job. My life. Destroyed for viewers.

Cucumber: Well, when you put it like--

Alexis: Cucumber. How many episodes of this show are there?

Cucumber: 6, I believe. They had to stop recently because of a debut.

Alexis: I need to watch it. I need to know what happened.

Cucumber: Well sure! You can come over to my house and watch it! I'm sure Sheri wouldn't mind!

Alexis: ...

A Day at an Apartment
''[We cut to Cucumber's Apartment in the middle of the night. Alexis is watching the entirety of CBT and is currently taking notes.]''

Sheri: Miss Alexis, are you okay? You have watched Conk Contract at least 10 times in the past hour.

Alexis: Yes, I'm perfectly fine.

Sheri: ...I shall take your word for it. Just...make sure not to stay up too late. We probably have important work tomorrow.

Alexis: Sure. Fine. Thanks.

''[Another cut, this time it's morning. Alexis is still awake and watching CBT 6B's beginning.]''

Cucumber: Good morning, Alexis! How was your night?

Alexis: Fine. Perfect. Good. I've just been...watching this CRIME of a reality show.

Cucumber: Huh?

Alexis: Child guillotines...Getting two stores' owners being killed...Turkeys killing themselves...Cucumber, this show is completely illegal! How is it still airing?!

Cucumber: Really good lawyers!

Alexis: ...Cucumber, we need to take it down.

Cucumber: Huh?

Sheri: Miss Alexis, do you realize how hard that would be?

Alexis: Of course I do. But if that corrupt Chicken could do it...I'm sure that me and Cucumber could take him down!

Sheri: And you truly believe only the two of you could do that?

Cucumber: Of course! Anything's possible when I'm with a best friend!

Alexis: Yes that. Though, I will admit, we should probably try to find one more person to join our--

[Alexis' eyes are drawn back to the TV Screen.]

Clinko: "Or you can even kidnap your worst enemy, tell the press and/or the authorities that he escaped to another country and lock him up here so that he can never get out, sooner or later dying from not having food or water."

Arthur Nelsec: "SOMEBODY HELP ME TO GET OUT OF THIS LEAF SUFFERING!"

Alexis: ...Perfect. C'mon, Cucumber. We have a show to cancel.

Cucumber: Okay, dokay! Make sure to watch the house, Miss Sheri!

Sheri: Will do, Master Cucumber!

[Alexis and Cucumber walk out.]

Sheri: ...They're doomed.